NFL Look-alikes: Philip Rivers and SpongBob

I knew Pro Bowl would be lame, but I didn't think it would be that lame. Peyton Manning hardly played. I don't know why Belichick put in Cassel instead of Manning in the last few minutes of the fourth quarter. I thought for sure he would play in the second half, but Number 18 only saw the field for 6 snaps. Seriously? You let the four time MVP man the bench? Come on!

(UPDATE: Apparently Manning said earlier that he wanted Cassel to finish the fourth quarter and kept his word. I think part of it was also him being extra nice and generous to a first time pro-bowler. Too bad about Manning's playing time though...)

Wobbly cameras, sloppy football, annoying sportscasters who would not shut up, stupid streaker running across the field... Overall lame, lame, lame. Had Manning played more football, it would have redeemed the joke that Pro Bowl has become at least a little bit, but that didn't happen at all. I won't be posting highlights from the 2011 Pro Bowl game simply because there were none.

Did anyone else feel annoyed at Philip Rivers just for being there? That guy rubs me the wrong way and I don't even know why. As lame as the Pro Bowl was, I'm still glad I watched because if I didn't, I wouldn't have had my "ah-ha" moment - that Philip Rivers looks a lot like SpongeBob SquarePants:

Philip Rivers is a SpongeBob look-alike

What do you guys think? Has he found his 2D twin?

Peyton Manning in Hawaii for the 2011 Pro Bowl

Peyton Manning is in Hawaii practicing with other NFL all-stars for the 2011 Pro Bowl game scheduled for January 30, 7:00 PM on FOX. He is playing backup to starter Philip Rivers, but we'll probably see Number 18 on the field in the second half.

I personally think the Pro Bowl games are pretty lame, but I'm still going to watch tomorrow because of Peyton Manning. I like how even though he's been to the Pro Bowl more than 10 times already, he still treats each time like it's a really big honor, unlike Tom Brady.

Although I'm sure Big P would rather be playing in the Super Bowl, reports say that he is having a great time in Hawaii, cracking jokes and playing pranks.

For example, here is Manning playing a prank on the Patriots' Wes Welker. He unscrews Welker's water bottle so Welker spills water (or gatorade?) all over his shirt. It's kind of funny to see "The Field General" be so immature because he's always so serious on the field. Welker tells Manning, "I forgot about this trick man... I've been out of college for 7 years now, I haven't seen that one in awhile."

Credit: AnthonyLynch707

Welker then makes a jab at Manning when Manning underthrows a pass, saying, "I know your arm's not the same. I understand." You can see clips of Manning during practice on Welker's headcam:

Peyton Manning is the most powerful athlete

Peyton Manning was named the number one most powerful athlete by Business Week, taking over the spot from Tiger Woods.

"That's right, bitches"

Big P is a great quarterback, hard working, funny, and overall, a pretty good guy.

There hasn't been much to update on this blog ever since the Colts were eliminated from the playoffs, but I will start posting highlights from Manning's 2004 season after the Super Bowl.

Manning and the Colts are still working on getting the kinks out of his contract. The Colts made an offer last week, but Manning's agent said the meeting was "uneventful." Is it just me or does Tom Condon represent everyone in NFL?!

I hope the contract is favorable to both Manning and the Colts organization. He doesn't need the money, but he can't take too little or he will not be doing his other fellow players justice. He can't take too much either or there won't be enough money left for the Colts to sign the players they need to make a serious run at the Super Bowl. Lord knows they have a lot they need to fix this off season. I know they'll get it done though.

Go Colts!

Colts lose to the Jets who beat the Patriots

I hate the Jets, but I hate the Patriots more. Am I glad the Jets won? It's more like I'm happy the Patriots lost.

I don't like the Jets (enough with the fake injury acting) or the Steelers (um, rapist?), so I'm hoping a team from the NFC wins the Super Bowl this year. Ideally it'd be: Jets over Steelers, Packers over Bears, and Packers putting the Jets back in their place in a February showdown.

One thing I like about the Patriots is that Bill Belichick has some balls. That's probably where his shirt sleeves have gone into hiding. The man tried a trick play, which failed. He went for it on 4th and 13, which failed. He called two onside kicks, which both failed. It makes me shake my head at Caldwell and his automatic punts at 4th and 1.

After tonight's loss to the Jets, I wonder how many people are going to call Tom Brady a choke job. Or who is going to say that he's getting old and his window is closing. Or how many Brady apologists will come out of the woodwork, like how January is supposedly the time of year for Peyton Manning apologists.

Whatever.

Tom Brady and the Patriots? One and done.

Tom Brady is happy

Today would have been Colts vs. Steelers

If only Nick Folk didn't make that last second field goal, today we'd be watching Peyton Manning and the Colts face off against the Steelers. But as we all know, wild card Saturday did not play out that way, so instead we have the Ravens vs. the Steelers.

I am rooting for the Ravens for these reasons and these reasons only:

• Ben Loss-his-burger would get another chance at a ring if the Ravens lost
• Ray Lewis did a good job narrating the NFL piece on Manning being the number 8 football player in the league
• Ray Lewis' Old Spice commercial was funny

They are totally unrelated to football talent and skill, but I don't care. You don't fly on a robot raven and destroy Saturn for no reason.

But for a trip down memory lane, here are some highlights from the Colts vs. Steelers game back in week 10 of 2008. The Colts were behind, but Manning managed to engineer another comeback to win the game 24-20:

God likes Peyton Manning but loves the Patriots

Photo credit: Field Gulls

This ol' joke is all over the internet, but I read it for the first time this morning. I thought I'd share it with you guys for a nice laugh:

Peyton Manning bubble wrap commercial for Sony

Something you won't see Peyton Manning wearing very often is bubble wrap football gear. In his newest commercial for Sony 3D, Manning directs the packaging/shipment staff ("40, 40, 40!") and tells Jim Nantz that he needs "a little more production out of [him]."

Peyton Manning wearing bubble wrap football pads

Watch Manning's full bubble wrap commercial here:

Off-season schedule for Peyton Manning Central

There is a lot of uncertainty for the Colts' off-season. Everyone is asking questions like, who are they going to keep, who are they going to draft, how much is Peyton going to get paid, is Peyton's window really closing, etc. No question is more important than whether there will still be football next year. I think it's greedy and hypocritical for the owners to demand an 18-game season, but hopefully an agreement will be worked out. I would hate for Manning to lose a year and another chance for a ring.

As far as the Colts' personnel go, I know for sure Manning will be re-signed. He is, after all, the face of the organization. Caldwell and Polian will probably still have their jobs, regardless of what fans think. I also hope the Colts retain Adam Vinatieri and Joseph Addai, along with Blair White and Javarris James. James might be a long shot, but I really have a soft spot for Baby J. White, by the way, needs to put on some muscle over the off-season. Bob Sanders and Anthony Gonzalez, on the other hand, are great when they are healthy, but they just never seem to stay healthy for very long. I say give Gonzalez another chance, but re-negotiate Sanders' contract or let him go because he is eating up too much green.

I certainly hope Austin Collie, along with everyone else on IR, gets healthy and comes back next season. If Collie regresses, I think it would backpedal a lot of the Colts' potential for next year. And speaking of next year, doesn't it feel like next year should be the Colts' year? The rookies got a good dose of experience this season and everyone will be healthy again, but after next season Jeff Saturday will probably retire. Reggie Wayne will also be in a contract year and he is only going to get older. Manning himself is aging, so it makes me feel like next year is the Colt's last best chance at a ring as an integral unit. It doesn't mean that it's their only chance, but... that's getting way too ahead of everything anyway.

I have never really followed college football, so instead of following the draft in the off-season, I will try to find videos and football highlights from Manning's 2004 season. I wouldn't mind if I heard that Manning and his wife Ashley were expecting a child in the off-season either.

It goes without saying, but go Colts!

Peyton Manning throws football at kids

I'm getting really tired of the media ripping Peyton Manning apart for his last incomplete pass to Blair White in the wild card playoff game against the Jets. This picture says it all. Stop calling him a choke job. You do not choke if you give your team the lead with less than a minute left in the game. One of my friends went as far to praise Mark Sanchez, saying he played better than Peyton Manning. Uh, really? Really? REALLY?! (spoken with Jim Mora's "playoffs?!" intonation).  

Sigh.

What I will never get tired of is Peyton Manning throwing footballs at kids. If you all remember Manning's hosting gig on SNL, he spoofed his own United Way commercial by teaching kids all the wrong things. In the below video clip of Manning at the 101 Awards in Kansas City, he talks about how it felt throwing a football at kids and how some of the kids' parents were screaming, "I want him to hit my kid in the face!" I guess it'd be pretty cool to tell people you got hit in the face by Peyton Manning:


Credit: PremierSportsVideo

Does anyone else feel less excited about football this weekend? I don't really care who wins the Super Bowl anymore, as long as it's not the Patriots, Steelers, or Jets. Who are you guys rooting for?

Michael Vick is a better leader than Peyton Manning

At least that's what Jason Whitlock over at Fox Sports believes. He also thinks Vick is the more mature quarterback of the two.

Sorry, I just fell out of my seat from laughing so hard.

And now give me a second as I enter a new synonym for idiot in Urban Dictionary. That way, you know, if one of your friends staples his thumb to his forehead, you can tell him, "Hey, stop being such a Jason Whitlock." Or, "Got Whitlocked again, huh?"

Okay, I'm back.

If you want to waste two minutes of your life reading the most obviously "angled-at-gaining-readership" and  "trying to ride the one-and-done Peyton Manning media wave for what its worth" article, then hop on over there for a strong dose of "having a mental age below three years." Jason Whitlock even warns Colts fans on his twitter to "read carefully" and "not overreact". What a joke. That's exactly the kind of reaction him and his editor crave.

But, to not give him the satisfaction of actually going to his site and reading his article, you can raise your blood pressure simply by reading these juicy "incites" from his shameless spin:

"Manning is rarely forced to do what Michael Vick has been doing the past three years – look inside and examine himself."

Right, as if no one demanded any answers from Manning during his three-game slump this season. And as if no one ever questions and criticizes Manning to death (essentially what Whitlock is doing right now) each time the Colts lose a playoff game. And who forced Michael Vick to look inside and examine himself? Uh, no one but Michael Vick. If not for his own poor decision-making, things would be very different.

Tired and Proud: Colts 2010 Season Wrap Up

I was hoping to not have to write this post until after February 6, you know, when I envisioned the Colts winning the Super Bowl and Peyton Manning getting his second ring. But after a painful loss to the Jets on Saturday and a day of grieving, it was time to move on and reflect upon the season in its entirety.

Today I bring you the "Tired and Proud" moments of the Colts 2010 regular and post football season. Since we are just coming off a wild card playoff loss to the Jets, be warned that some of these "tired moments" will be dominated by fresh reflections from the other night's game.

Tired Moments of the 2010 Colts Football Season...

• Tired of seeing that Jets fan in that stupid, stupid hat. Was it just me or did anyone else notice how much love the camera guys gave him?
• Tired of seeing Rex Ryan's double chin flapping about in the windless dome. He gives new meaning to the phrase, "Shut your trap."
• Tired of seeing Mark Sanchez' black under-eye liner. Who does he think he is? Tom Brady's backup shadow?
• Tired of the Colts' D. You guys really know how to a lose a game. Give up in the start of the second half and you pretty much give up the game. A one touchdown lead just doesn't cut it. Seriously, what goes on in Coyer's mind in the third quarter?
• Tired of waiting for special teams (Vinny very much excluded) to actually be a special team. Thank you, Taj Smith, for making crucial plays throughout the season, but you made a huge mistake by running into the kicker. You gave the Jets a breath of life and forced the Colts to gasp for air when they were already low on oxygen.
• Tired of waiting for players to just play. Please, let the injury epidemic be over. SARS, as scary as it was, ended just as suddenly as it began and that's the way it should be for the Colts. Next season, our guys will be healthy and strong and they will play good football and dominate. This season, hearing player after player go on IR week after week was like getting punched repeatedly on 9-stitch cut.
• Tired of the poor roster management. Either put them on IR or don't put them on IR. Playing the waiting game did not work in the Colts' favor. They waited way too long to put Bob Sanders and Kelvin Hayden on IR. They were also way too fast to add Anthony Gonzalez to the list. We could have really used him on the WR depth chart. The injuries were frustrating, but so was the misguided hope that the players would get healthy in time to contribute.
• Tired of people blaming Manning for this and that. Just get over yourself. People are always stuck in binocular vision instead of taking the view from a telescope. And yea, Manning is way better than Brady. Miles and miles and miles better. He is the Sun while Brady is like Saturn: pretty to look at, but with lots of rings to help him look good. Pun intended. Zing!

2011 Wild Card Playoffs: Peyton Manning Interviews

Here are some of Peyton Manning's 2011 wild card playoff interviews.

Peyton Manning's pre-game interview with Bob Costas:

Manning says the Jets are a better team this year and the Colts are not. I also liked how he asked Bob Costas what "bombastic" means when he obviously knows the answer. And the only borderline-negative thing, if it can even be considered negative, he says about Caldwell is that he is an "effective communicator." I wonder if Manning ever tells him that he needs to take some risks some of the time.


Credit: teej813

He looked quite tired after the game though.

Peyton Manning's post-game interview:

Magic 8 Ball - Wild Card Playoffs Report Card

It's almost pointless to write this post: my magic 8 ball had an epic fail. Most of its Colts vs. Jets wild card playoff predictions were flat out wrong. Although, I have to admit, a lot of its predictions did seem like good calls, that is, up until half time.

We'll just make a short run through to see just how wrong it was:

1. Dallas Clark and Austin Collie have left Hagrid-sized shoes for other Colts to fill. Are Jacob Tamme and Blair White going to be up for the job? - Better not tell you now.
   
• Like I said in the wild card playoffs highlights post, Tamme and White did not step up enough. White was slow in getting open and Tamme was not on his game. I guess "better not tell you now" was somewhat indicative that they weren't going to have huge nights.
2. Are we going to see another reincarnation of Pierre Garcon as a drop-a-saurus? - Reply hazy, try again. Tried again and it said, Cannot predict now. Doh.
• Garcon was on fire last night. Did anyone notice how after he caught that one pass, he held it up shoulder height on the sidelines and then dropped it? Yup, he was having none of that in a playoff game.
3. Is Reggie Wayne going to take a vacation on Revis Island? - Very doubtful.
• Very doubtful? Wayne was stranded. In some of the replays, he looked like he got open on the outside a few times, but timing wise, it might have been too late for Manning to make the throw. He got owned.
4. Will the Colts' special teams have a spectacularly, as in spectacularly good, special night? - YES.
   
• More like big, resounding NO. Or yes, as in spectacularly bad. I can't even think about this right now.
5. Will Mark Sanchez help the Colts beat the Jets? - It is decidedly so.
• Okay, this one I can give some leeway. Sanchez was doing just that in the first half, but then Rex Ryan took the ball away from him in the second and started running the ball.
6. Will Peyton Manning carve up the Jets' defense like last year's Thanksgiving turkey? - My reply is no.
   
   • I'm not sure if I can say Manning carved up the Jets last night. If his receivers made a few more of his catches, then maybe? But I know Rex Ryan didn't beat Manning last night. He beat Caldwell, the Colts defense, and especially the Colts special teams. The way I see it, Manning still has his number.
7. Is Rex Ryan going to put his wife's foot in his mouth? - It is decidedly so.
• Damn it, I really wanted this one to be true.
8. Will the Colts win against the Jets this Saturday? - Most likely.
• I guess you can say this one was true. The Colts most likely would have won, but they just didn't.

Okay, back to wallowing in self-pity.

I skipped denial and went straight to anger, hopped over bargaining and am now stuck on depression, just waiting for acceptance to kick in.

I feel for Manning, I really do.

Wild Card Playoffs: Colts vs. Jets 2011 Highlights

I still feel a twinge in my heart when I think about last night's game. It isn't as painful a blow as last year's Super Bowl loss, but it is what it is. The Jets beat the Colts by 1 point (one freakin' point!), kicking a last second field goal to win the game 17-16, officially ending the Colts' season.

If you missed the wild match-up, watch highlights from the game here:


Credit: 18pmc18, NFL Game Highlights

Peyton Manning and the blue horses tried their best, but they just couldn't keep within their razor thin margin of error. Number 18 was on his game last night, but unfortunately, the rest of the team came up short.

Man. No extra gravy for Peyton Manning

I am too depressed to write a full post. I hate my magic 8 ball. It really felt like Manning and the Colts should have won this one. I blame Caldwell. Why not go for a field goal before the half? And why not go for a touchdown at the end of the fourth quarter when they got the ball back. Field goals don't win playoff games.

On a brighter note, our Colts fought long and hard and deserve a nice, long rest. Manning played well tonight. He did not choke. Garcon didn't drop any passes. Next year they will come roaring back.

All I can hope for now is that the Jets upset the Patriots.

Man, I feel like my dog just died.

Give me a day to grieve. I will post highlights of the game tomorrow.

How Peyton Manning prepares for football games

You've all heard it.

Everyone knows it.

Even Peyton Manning himself acknowledges that he's a preparation freak. But, what exactly does he do to prepare himself for football games?

Tony Dungy, former head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, answers this question in his video posted on All Pro Dad:


Credit: AllProDadTV

There you have it.

Peyton Manning studies a lot of film. A lot of film. A. lot. of. film.

Even after the Titans win, Coach Caldwell said:

"I do know a fact there was one guy over here watching film already last night after the game was over with getting ready for the next opponent.”

How much do you want to bet that that "one guy" was Number 18? 


I also like how Rex Ryan took a shot at Tom Brady when he said:

"I know Brady thinks he does [study like Manning]," Ryan said. "I think there's a little more help from (Bill) Belichick with Brady than there is with Peyton Manning."

Zing!


Manning has his preparation and pregame rituals, but we fans must prepare as well for tomorrow's wild card challenge. Rumor is that there might be a greater than normal number of Jets' fans in the stadium, so ladies, prepare to bare your feet. 

Will flashes of sexy toes cause micro lapses of concentration in Rex Ryan? Be them lapses of a carnal nature or irritated shrug off? Definitely possible.

I don't have the good fortune of going to the game in person, so I will have to relay my 12th man via kindred spirit. To all blue blooders in attendance, be loud and be proud. Pipe in that defense!

Let's go Colts! Hit the jackpot!

Magic 8 Ball - Colts vs. Jets 2011 Wild Card Playoffs Predictions

In two days, Peyton Manning and the royal blue Colts will take on the gan-green Jets at home in Lucas Oil Stadium to see which team gets to extend its Super Bowl run.

I don't have the analytical football skills to offer insightful breakdowns or appropriate predictions, so I will leave that to the people who actually know what they are talking about. What I do have, however, is my trusty magic 8 ball. I thought it did a pretty good job on the Colts vs. Titans game last week, but we'll see what else it has in store for us.

Today, it will tell us whether it's time to dream big or dream on:

1. Dallas Clark and Austin Collie have left Hagrid-sized shoes for other Colts to fill. Are Jacob Tamme and Blair White going to be up for the job? - Better not tell you now.
2. Are we going to see another reincarnation of Pierre Garcon as a drop-a-saurus? - Reply hazy, try again. Tried again and it said, Cannot predict now. Doh.
3. Is Reggie Wayne going to take a vacation on Revis Island? - Very doubtful.
4. Will the Colts' special teams have a spectacularly, as in spectacularly good, special night? - YES.
   
5. Will Mark Sanchez help the Colts beat the Jets? - It is decidedly so.
6. Will Peyton Manning carve up the Jets' defense like last year's Thanksgiving turkey? - My reply is no.
   
7. Is Rex Ryan going to put his wife's foot in his mouth? - It is decidedly so.
8. Will the Colts win against the Jets this Saturday? - Most likely.

Okay, so not a definitive Colts' blowout win prediction like I wanted, but I'll take it because it seems to side more with our men in blue. I really hope it's wrong about Garcon dropping passes though. And regarding the blip about Manning and the Jets' defense, I will take that to mean that he will carve up the Jets' defense, but just not as much as he did last year.

By the way, I'm really liking that the liquid inside my magic 8 ball is blue. However, I wish it could answer things other than yes or no questions. Then I could ask it something like, "How many peeps can Rex Ryan sandwich in between his cheeks?"

I bet it's not 18.

Go Colts!

Blast from the Past: Colts vs. Jets 2010 AFC Championship Game Highlights

Peyton Manning and the Colts play the New York Jets this Saturday in the first round of playoffs. The two teams played twice last year, with the Jets winning a meaningless game in December when Caldwell decided to rest starters. However, in their second match up, the Colts went on to win the AFC Championship game.

I remember watching that game. And I distinctly recall feeling worried at the end of the first half.

The Jets came out roaring and sacked Manning twice from the get go. Number 18 was visibly frustrated and our defense was visibly asleep. In the days leading up to the game, all everyone could talk about was the Colts' decision to rest starters and how that would kill their momentum. And with the Jets leading into the half, could it be that those people were actually right?

However, something happened in the locker room during half time. Manning and company returned to the field only to carve up the Jets' defense and win the game, 30-17.

Watch the highlights from the 2010 AFC Championship game here:


Credit: GoTitans102831

This highlight reel made me nostalgic, worried, and proud all at the same time.

Nostalgic for the 2009 team when our starters were healthy, worried for the Colts team this year because most of the guys making plays in the highlight reel are now on IR, but ultimately proud because our men in blue have truly done a great job. The personnel changes were unexpected and the in-season adjustments were shaky at times, but Manning and the Colts just kept chugging along. In fact, the C in Colts should stand for Comeback. 

As for the game this Saturday against the Jets, the Colts have a good shot at winning. I'll bust out my magic 8 ball to answer questions about the game tomorrow.

Magic 8 Ball - Week 17 Report Card

A couple of days ago, I busted out my magic 8 ball to ask it a few questions about the Colts vs. Titans game. Today, we will evaluate its prognostication prowess. But, before we begin, let me tell you why this magic 8 ball is so special:

It's pretty doggone accurate. 

You know how you can count on Adam Vinatieri to kick a field goal when it matters? Well, even though you can't count on my magic 8 ball to always be right, you can at least count on feeling comforted by its answers because they end up being true close to 75% of the time.

For example, here are some of my magic 8 ball's past predictions:

• Will Barack Obama become the next US President?
• Answer: "YES [we can]"
• Confirmed - Barack Obama is our current president.
• Will I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled?
• Answer: "You may rely on it"
• Confirmed - I ended up removing three of them, two of which were impacted. Not. fun. at. all.
• Am I going to win the lottery?
• Answer: "Don't count on it."
• Confirmed (for now) - I, sadly, have not won the lottery. Not even a scratch-off ticket! Though I hope the answer is wrong on this one...

See, so my magic 8 ball is pretty good at answering questions. Let's see how well it did on the Colts vs. Titans game.

Week 17: Colts vs. Titans 2010 Highlights

There was no magic blue fairy dust in today's game, but Peyton Manning and the Colts managed to eke out a win over the Tennessee Titans on an Adam Vinatieri field goal - final score 23-20. I expected our men in blue to jump out to an early lead, but the Titans played hard and kept the game tied up until the last few seconds.

Though this game didn't go the way Dan Dierdorf most people thought it would, the Colts still won the AFC South. With the Kansas City Chiefs losing to the Oakland Raiders, the Colts clenched the number 3 seed in the AFC and will host the New York Jets in the first round of playoffs. They would have won the AFC South anyway, thanks to a Texans' shellacking of the Jaguars, but a loss to the Titans tonight would have put them at the number 4 seed to face off against the Ravens instead of the Jets.

Watch highlights from the Colts vs. Titans game here:


Credit:  18pmc18, NFL Game Highlights


Adam Vinatieri's game-winning 43-yard field goal:


Credit: TopSportVids

As irrationally optimistic as I've been in the past few weeks following the Colts' breakout running game, I know there are chinks in the armor that even Peyton Manning can't fix.