Magic 8 Ball - Wild Card Playoffs Report Card

It's almost pointless to write this post: my magic 8 ball had an epic fail. Most of its Colts vs. Jets wild card playoff predictions were flat out wrong. Although, I have to admit, a lot of its predictions did seem like good calls, that is, up until half time.

We'll just make a short run through to see just how wrong it was:

1. Dallas Clark and Austin Collie have left Hagrid-sized shoes for other Colts to fill. Are Jacob Tamme and Blair White going to be up for the job? - Better not tell you now.
   
• Like I said in the wild card playoffs highlights post, Tamme and White did not step up enough. White was slow in getting open and Tamme was not on his game. I guess "better not tell you now" was somewhat indicative that they weren't going to have huge nights.
2. Are we going to see another reincarnation of Pierre Garcon as a drop-a-saurus? - Reply hazy, try again. Tried again and it said, Cannot predict now. Doh.
• Garcon was on fire last night. Did anyone notice how after he caught that one pass, he held it up shoulder height on the sidelines and then dropped it? Yup, he was having none of that in a playoff game.
3. Is Reggie Wayne going to take a vacation on Revis Island? - Very doubtful.
• Very doubtful? Wayne was stranded. In some of the replays, he looked like he got open on the outside a few times, but timing wise, it might have been too late for Manning to make the throw. He got owned.
4. Will the Colts' special teams have a spectacularly, as in spectacularly good, special night? - YES.
   
• More like big, resounding NO. Or yes, as in spectacularly bad. I can't even think about this right now.
5. Will Mark Sanchez help the Colts beat the Jets? - It is decidedly so.
• Okay, this one I can give some leeway. Sanchez was doing just that in the first half, but then Rex Ryan took the ball away from him in the second and started running the ball.
6. Will Peyton Manning carve up the Jets' defense like last year's Thanksgiving turkey? - My reply is no.
   
   • I'm not sure if I can say Manning carved up the Jets last night. If his receivers made a few more of his catches, then maybe? But I know Rex Ryan didn't beat Manning last night. He beat Caldwell, the Colts defense, and especially the Colts special teams. The way I see it, Manning still has his number.
7. Is Rex Ryan going to put his wife's foot in his mouth? - It is decidedly so.
• Damn it, I really wanted this one to be true.
8. Will the Colts win against the Jets this Saturday? - Most likely.
• I guess you can say this one was true. The Colts most likely would have won, but they just didn't.

Okay, back to wallowing in self-pity.

I skipped denial and went straight to anger, hopped over bargaining and am now stuck on depression, just waiting for acceptance to kick in.

I feel for Manning, I really do.

Magic 8 Ball - Colts vs. Jets 2011 Wild Card Playoffs Predictions

In two days, Peyton Manning and the royal blue Colts will take on the gan-green Jets at home in Lucas Oil Stadium to see which team gets to extend its Super Bowl run.

I don't have the analytical football skills to offer insightful breakdowns or appropriate predictions, so I will leave that to the people who actually know what they are talking about. What I do have, however, is my trusty magic 8 ball. I thought it did a pretty good job on the Colts vs. Titans game last week, but we'll see what else it has in store for us.

Today, it will tell us whether it's time to dream big or dream on:

1. Dallas Clark and Austin Collie have left Hagrid-sized shoes for other Colts to fill. Are Jacob Tamme and Blair White going to be up for the job? - Better not tell you now.
2. Are we going to see another reincarnation of Pierre Garcon as a drop-a-saurus? - Reply hazy, try again. Tried again and it said, Cannot predict now. Doh.
3. Is Reggie Wayne going to take a vacation on Revis Island? - Very doubtful.
4. Will the Colts' special teams have a spectacularly, as in spectacularly good, special night? - YES.
   
5. Will Mark Sanchez help the Colts beat the Jets? - It is decidedly so.
6. Will Peyton Manning carve up the Jets' defense like last year's Thanksgiving turkey? - My reply is no.
   
7. Is Rex Ryan going to put his wife's foot in his mouth? - It is decidedly so.
8. Will the Colts win against the Jets this Saturday? - Most likely.

Okay, so not a definitive Colts' blowout win prediction like I wanted, but I'll take it because it seems to side more with our men in blue. I really hope it's wrong about Garcon dropping passes though. And regarding the blip about Manning and the Jets' defense, I will take that to mean that he will carve up the Jets' defense, but just not as much as he did last year.

By the way, I'm really liking that the liquid inside my magic 8 ball is blue. However, I wish it could answer things other than yes or no questions. Then I could ask it something like, "How many peeps can Rex Ryan sandwich in between his cheeks?"

I bet it's not 18.

Go Colts!

Magic 8 Ball - Week 17 Report Card

A couple of days ago, I busted out my magic 8 ball to ask it a few questions about the Colts vs. Titans game. Today, we will evaluate its prognostication prowess. But, before we begin, let me tell you why this magic 8 ball is so special:

It's pretty doggone accurate. 

You know how you can count on Adam Vinatieri to kick a field goal when it matters? Well, even though you can't count on my magic 8 ball to always be right, you can at least count on feeling comforted by its answers because they end up being true close to 75% of the time.

For example, here are some of my magic 8 ball's past predictions:

• Will Barack Obama become the next US President?
• Answer: "YES [we can]"
• Confirmed - Barack Obama is our current president.
• Will I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled?
• Answer: "You may rely on it"
• Confirmed - I ended up removing three of them, two of which were impacted. Not. fun. at. all.
• Am I going to win the lottery?
• Answer: "Don't count on it."
• Confirmed (for now) - I, sadly, have not won the lottery. Not even a scratch-off ticket! Though I hope the answer is wrong on this one...

See, so my magic 8 ball is pretty good at answering questions. Let's see how well it did on the Colts vs. Titans game.

Magic 8 Ball - Colts vs. Titans Week 17 Preview

Sunday will mark the last week of the regular season for NFL football. If Peyton Manning and the Colts win over the Titans, the Colts will have made the playoffs for nine straight seasons. Nine. Can you believe that? If Manning and company were a sitcom show, they'd be on TV for as long as Friends.

If the Colts make the playoffs, and I think they will, everyone on the team deserves the hardest, butt-numbing butt slap for what they've been able to accomplish so far this season. Their injury situation has been talked to death, so I'll just tip my hat to them and leave it at that.

Today, my magic 8 ball will be answering the questions on all of our minds as the game approaches:

1. Will Jeff Fisher shave his mustache? - Cannot predict now.
2. Are the Titans going to run 2 fake punts and 1 onside kick? -  Better not tell you now.
3. Is Dominic Rhodes still possessed? - Yes - definitely.
4. Are any other Colts' running backs possessed? - As I see it, yes.
5. Will Clint Session play on defense? - Ask me again later.
6. Will the Colts stop Chris Johnson? - Outlook not so good.
7. Will the Jaguars lose? - Outlook good.
8. Will the Colts win against the Titans this upcoming Sunday? - Without a doubt.

I like all of those answers except for number 6.

Without further ado, here is the game preview for the Colts vs. Titans match up:


Credit: 18pmc18, NFL Game Previews

Let's go Colts! We beat the Titans last time and we can do it again.